Yesterday, I am freaking nervous to see my grades, worrying if I ever made it to reach that quota or not, well, I said if I am not able to meet it then perhaps I should transfer to other school then, but God loved me so much for giving all those grades that is required for me. Plus giving me a QPA of 3.4 almost there to the dean’s list but yet too far, well I don’t really need to be in there what I want is to prove to Doc Tri that I will not see her on April 17 and 18 as she also expected me to do.
I am so happy that it was not only me who got high QPA but also my blockmates who made it with me, I guess it is the TEAM WORK that we had this semester including all those dramas and sorts. I am proud for our block ‘coz some of them gained back their dean’s list position that they weren’t able to achieve during the first semester.
Yeah, all work paid off for everyone, those sleepless nights, insane moments, powerless days, the “bangag” days, they are all worth it. I’m happy to see my blockmates got their QPA 3.0 above. And yeah, this I would always swear, I will always be there to help them, whether it be acads, extra-curricular, or in personal.
Now all I’ve got to do is include all my blockmates into my prayers especially those who will need to see doc tri on the 17th and 18th because I do not want us to be lessen.
Finally, were moving to our 3rd year, more challenges, but we’ll make it through! :)
Psych’s dream on me
Last year it was Ate Mimah and Ate Mickey said “galingan mo sa psych ha” and I said yes I will. I never really thought that somehow being babied by Psych seniors last year will continue to Ate Lia, Ate Mary and Ate Myrtle. As these 3 beautiful and awesome ladies will take their flight tomorrow towards the outside fortress of SSC and the big 4’s supervision there’s one reminder that they left to me “galingan mo sa psych ha”. And I said yes I will, I will make best out of me so that I will be able to graduate with flying colors. For me, it is not only for me but for everyone in my batch, we have to maintain our number to make the big 4 proud of us. I still have 4 semesters to work on and yes, I accept that challenge, psych’s dreams on me, definitely will be achieved ‘coz I love my course and the people I’m with it.
When I’m silent
- didn’t get enough sleep.
- waiting for something to be over.
- don’t have nothing to talk about.
- over thinking/over analyzing a situation.
- upset or worried.
- falling apart.
- or all of the above.
although lahat na settle na pero parang mali pa rin eh.. though we are all after one goal parang hindi naman yata tama na basta basta na lang ganun sasabihin mo or gagawin mo di ba? ang ayoko sa group na to, pag nag bibigay ka ng venue for them to speak up, they will just shut that fuck up and back stab you. Ang alam ko kasi dapat hindi ganito sa isang group or block eh.. ang alam ko may 3 bagay na dapat lagi nandyan:
1. RESPETO - respeto kasi hindi lahat ng kayo pare-pareho sa ugali at perspectivs in life, hindi lahat kayo maiintindihan yung gusto mo or nyo.
2. TIWALA - kasi kung hindi ka or kayo magtitiwala bakit pa kayo naging group di ba?
3. WORK AS A TEAM - walang “I” sa group, “WE” lang ang meron. think of others rin kasi para lahat masaya.
I think I deserve RESPECT
SO, what would you feel if all your efforts were put into waste by someone who is not always attending such practices and meetings, huh? would you feel good or rather say “oh gosh, thank you!” Honestly, you’ve done an excellent job in pissing me off!
I think I deserve RESPECT because I RESPECTED all of you and consider all your suggestions and feeling, because yeah, this is group work and there’s NO “I” in here, it is always “WE”. If you don’t like what were the outputs better yet speak up immediately and prove to the whole group that you are worthy to be followed by showing up every single day that we have practices and meetings.
Next time, I will really not stand up for it, I’d better wait for you and your group to do it, since our group follows, and we have common decision!
Damn this! :(
All of these
Earlier this day, I came to see my high school friends, and there’s nothing so special about it but something struck me the most and I do not know how to react. All these time they are talking about me, they are talking how I’m able to survive a college with only girls, how I am able to make through each day when my best friend is gone, how I am able to survive my course that is too demanding and how I can still smile over things. I just smiled at them and say: “although all of these kills me bit by bit, I have to be strong enough for those people whom I know would kill me if I lose myself.”
that personal reason
Last night I received a text message coming from our batch rep, she is asking me if I could tell our batch on our General Assembly on Monday why it’s me who took over the position of being the batch rep (before I resigned) after the elections when there’s someone else should be on that position, and to tell them why I did resign. I probably could tell the batch why it’s me who took over, but the 2nd thing that she’s asking me could probably be too hard for me because it is all that personal reason why I end up resigning. It’s tough when you are there between the lines.
I even fewof my blockmates about this but all I got was an answer saying “no, don’t tell them” or “don’t speak instead, let it be”. I agree to them, because I wouldn’t want to tell my reason because I know in the end of the day, all that I’m gonna say that day will be used against me.
It’s quite hard to think about it most especially when I know it’s all in the past.
When letting go comes into a person, technically, we can hurt all other person around us, we cannot see that we have done such a thing to hurt them, we often neglect them and forgot that there are still people around us because we are too bound in the past, to someone or something that will never come back, to something that we must place in that treasure box of ours to remember but to not live on it. I made this, I had a hard time letting go.
I even attended our LSS but it seems that nothing happened, it is still with me hurting so much, until I cried all that pain that came to me. It is hard but I know after it, I can finally let go. And I did. She came to see me, to watch me each day yet I didn’t knew. She was from afar watching over me, beside me at times but I decided to free the both of us from the agony and pain that makes her uncomfortable. Until one day when I said, “it’s time to finally let you go”. That morning she came to me, I knew it was her, I knew she was that butterfly on my room then on my shoulder on my way to school, telling me, “it’s all fine now”.
If there’s one thing I could remember and cherish to this moment, it is that before, during and after it, there are still those people who wanted to make me smile, comfort me and still be with me. And I’m glad to tell whoever will read this, it is over. I let go and let God to take over me. It’s not the distance that will determine everything, it is you, if that person is still in that heart of yours, whether s/he passed away, or somewhere away, you can still feel their love for you.
And I truly believe in what my best friend said: “I may be too far from you, but I promise someone will resemble me the most to you.” I believe her because I know that someone who resembles her the most is close to me.I’m writting this because I wanted to share what is in my mind right now.